


two slow dancers, last ones out

by aaaaaaaarachne



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Battle Couple, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics (mostly involving Azula), injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaaaaaaarachne/pseuds/aaaaaaaarachne
Summary: Five times Ty Lee saved Mai, and one time she didn't.
Relationships: Azula/Mai (Avatar), Azula/Mai/Ty Lee, Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55
Collections: Femslash Exchange 2020





	two slow dancers, last ones out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Val_Creative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/gifts).



> Hello! Just wanted to note that this fic contains characters who are under 18 flirting, cuddling, and kissing, but no sex. This lines up with your DNWs as I understand them but I wanted to make a note anyway. Hope you enjoy it!

Seven sisters, and Azula chose Ty Lee.

Azula had her pick of sons and daughters of Fire Nation nobility for her best friend. When Ty Lee was a child, she was vaguely aware that her parents thought it was very important for her and her sisters to spend time with the Princess, and that they were fighting tooth and nail to make it happen. She didn’t understand why, just as she didn’t understand why they kept insisting on parading her and her sisters around in matching outfits even though Ty Lee wanted to stand out. There was a certain pleasure in being useful, but being interchangeable was unbearable. For some reason, though, Azula wasn’t interested in her sisters. Just her.

When she got older, Ty Lee still didn’t understand why Azula had chosen her out of everyone. Maybe she’d done some kind of favor for Azula that had been lost in the fog of childhood, or maybe Azula had received some kind of instruction from her parents, or maybe it was just a whim. Still, that fact stuck with her her whole life. Azula could have chosen anybody, but she chose Ty Lee.

She chose Mai, too, and soon, the three of them were having private playdates in the palace gardens. Mai’s parents arranged a marriage with Azula’s scowling, brooding older brother.

On top of being a princess, Azula was a great friend. She could get whatever she wanted from the palace cooks and servants just by asking. She could get Ty Lee and Mai out of trouble with their parents. She always came up with the best games.

And yes, she could play mean pranks sometimes. Yes, she could be unpredictable. And yes, whatever game she played, she always had to win. But she had chosen Ty Lee. Ty Lee could forgive a lot, for that.

Besides, Ty Lee got to see a side of Azula no one else saw. Everyone else saw a sharp, precocious child prodigy. But Ty Lee got to learn Azula’s secrets. She stayed up late at night during sleepovers, listening to Azula talk about her fear of failure, her longing for the throne, her suspicion that her mother didn’t really love her. She knew things no one knew.

She knew, for example, how frustrating it was to Azula that her parents had spent so much time and effort securing the best possible marriage for Zuko, but hadn’t been able to find a boy for her.

Once, as a joke, she said, “They have to find me a husband. I can’t get one myself.” But even though she smiled, she looked scared.

Ty Lee had laughed “As if. You’re so pretty. You have great skin and perfect hair. And you’re only going to get prettier.”

There was a pause. Then, Azula said, "Keep going.”

Ty Lee wanted to make Azula happy, and she knew Mai did, too. So, when Azula told Mai she wanted to arranged an unsupervised date for her with Zuko, Mai said yes. And when Azula told Ty Lee that she planned to send Zuko and Mai to different locations and convince each that they had been abandoned, Ty Lee didn’t say anything. And when, after Mai cried for hours in her room, Azula gleefully revealed that it was all a trick, Mai was supposed to laugh, and shrug it off.

But she didn’t. She didn’t speak to Azula for days afterwards, and found excuses not to spend time with her and Ty Lee. And Ty Lee felt awful, but she didn’t know how to apologize. She'd thought it would be all right. She would have done anything for Azula, and she thought Mai felt the same way.

The Royal Fire Academy for Girls had their students train by fighting each other, and Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee trained together more often than not. Azula usually won their fights on merit, but if she didn’t, Mai and Ty Lee made sure she won anyway. Otherwise, they knew, there would be consequences.

But after Azula’s trick with Zuko, Mai was not willing to lose. Ty Lee watched in horror as Mai employed all her speed and agility to dodge Azula’s firebending, throwing projectiles to knock her off balance.

Just as Mai was about to swoop down and envelop Azula like a dark spirit, Ty Lee cartwheeled into the fray.

“May I have this dance?” she said, jabbing at Mai’s left arm. Mai dodged, but just barely.

“Stay out of this,” she growled. Ty Lee giggled at Mai’s furious expression and attacked again, but Mai blocked her off with frightening speed.

“Try and catch me,” said Ty Lee, cartwheeling to Mai’s right. Mai whirled around.

“Why did you let her do this?” said Mai.

“I didn’t think you’d believe her,” said Ty Lee. “Zuko wasn’t going to stand you up.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Mai muttered.

“You’re pretty. You’re great at fighting. You’re a great friend,” said Ty Lee.

“You really think so?” Mai said, caught off guard. Ty Lee dipped under Mai’s arm, jabbing at the sensitive pressure points in her back. Mai collapsed.

“I know so!” said Ty Lee. She helped Mai to her feet, and gave her a hug.

“You’re amazing,” said Ty Lee. “Zuko knows that.” She leaned in. “Besides, Azula’s jealous,” she whispered. “Don’t tell her I told you.”

Mai nodded seriously.

Azula approached the two of them. “Well done, Ty Lee,”she said. “So, Mai, are you speaking to us again? You know it was just a joke.”

Mai met Ty Lee’s eyes. “Sure,” she said. Ty Lee clapped her hands and hugged them both.

Whatever game they played, Azula always had to win.

* * *

When the Royal Family had parties Ty Lee was always invited. She immediately attached herself to Azula, laughing at all her jokes, introducing her to the people she needed to meet. When Azula said something that didn’t land, which happened often, Ty Lee moved the conversation along before the silence became too awkward. And if she insulted someone she shouldn’t have insulted, Ty Lee smoothed things over. Everyone saw how much Azula needed her, and she glowed.

Mai usually sat in a corner with a plate full of snacks and glared at everyone who approached except Ty Lee. So when Ty Lee saw a boy hovering around Mai’s bench, she got suspicious, and as soon as Azula could be safely left alone, she approached them.

The boy was leaning against the wall, looking far too confident for his own good. He had a little stubble on his chin that he clearly didn’t want to shave, and disproportionately long arms and legs that didn’t fit his small body. And the way he was smiling, he was clearly under the misapprehension that the conversation was going well.

“My family has a private box,” he was saying. “And I’ll bring you flowers.”

“Bring whatever you want,” said Mai, shrugging. “Like I said, I won’t be there.”

“Yes, you will,” he said. “You have a stray hair.” He reached over to tuck it behind her ear. Quick as a whip, Mai grabbed it.

“Don’t,” she said.

The boy laughed. “You don’t—“ his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. Mai barked out a laugh, and the boy frowned, looking hurt. Maybe that was what propelled him to say, with a cruel smile, “It’s not like anyone else is paying attention to you. Since your boyfriend got banished.”

Mai’s cheeks turned bright red. Zuko had been gone for nearly a year now. It was starting to become clear that he wasn’t coming back.

“So,” said the guy. “See you Saturday. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Ty Lee had seen enough.

“She’s busy Saturday,” said Ty Lee.

The guy turned around. “And you are?”

“Her Saturday plans,” said Ty Lee, sliding onto the couch next to Mai and kissing her on the cheek. Mai, true to form, didn’t react, but at this point, Ty Lee was good enough at reading Mai's different kinds of non-reactions to know she didn't mind. There was no tension in her face, and her body was relaxed.

“We have a date,” said Ty Lee. “I’ve been planning it for weeks, and I’d be so disappointed if I had to cancel.” She gave him her best big catdoe eyes.

“Oh,” the guy said, clearly thrown. “Uh. I guess—”

“You guess you’ll leave?” said Ty Lee. “Smart idea. You wouldn’t want anyone to know you tried to break up the Princess’s two best friends, would you?”

“No! No,” said the guy. “Definitely not. Um. See you.”

He hurried away, leaving Mai and Ty Lee alone.

“Thanks,” Mai said. “That was getting annoying. And Azula would probably have been upset if I stabbed him.”

“Trust me, I was tempted, too,” said Ty Lee. “But now, you owe me.”

“Oh?” said Mai.

“As a thank you,” said Ty Lee, “you are going on a date with me. On Saturday.”

"What?” said Mai.

“Come on,” said Ty Lee. “It’ll be fun!”

“Fine,” said Mai. “But I wasn’t doing anything interesting on Saturday anyway.”

Ty Lee grinned and rubbed her hands together. “Just wait,” she said. “This is going to be the best date you’ve ever had.” She kissed Mai on the cheek again, and was rewarded with a small, rare smile.

* * *

Ty Lee knew what Mai wanted out of a date. No crowds. No walking long distances. No getting dressed up. No sitting through boring things that took forever. So she arranged a picnic at sunset, on the balcony of her family’s little-used third home. Just a simple blanket, Mai’s favorite foods (tempura, yakitori, taiyaki), and Ty Lee. She resisted all her impulses and kept the decorations muted. A few paper lanterns, a small bouquet of deep purple violets.

Mai didn’t do what Ty Lee would have done. She didn’t jump up and down, or squeal, or even smile. But she did sit down and eat. She listened to Ty Lee talk, and scooted closer and closer to her throughout the night, until finally, she’d snuggled up against Ty Lee’s side. This was something Ty Lee knew about Mai that not many people did: secretly, she loved being touched. She loved being close to people. She was just choosy about who she was close to.

Mai didn’t care about many people enough to let them plan her a date. She didn’t trust many people enough to be vulnerable with them. But she had chosen Ty Lee.

“See?” said Ty Lee. “I told you it’d be fun.”

“This isn’t terrible,” Mai allowed.

Ty Lee laughed. “Wow, I’m flattered.” She really was.

Mai shrugged. “You know what I like,” she said, smiling slightly. “That’s…well, it’s a little scary. But it’s good.”

“Scary?” said Ty Lee.

Mai looked away. “I don’t want my parents to know what I like. Or Azula.”

Ty Lee looked over her shoulder, then nodded, once, very quickly.

“You know, I never expected this,” said Mai. “I mean, I know we’re friends, but.” She shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d want to date me. You’re so fun, and you do stuff like this.” She gestures at everything. “I don’t think I could do this if I tried.”

Ty Lee rested her head on Mai’s shoulder.

“I don’t need you to do all this,” she said. “Honestly, if both of us did stuff like this all the time, that would be a little overwhelming. I don’t want you to be me.I want you to be you. I like you.”

“I like you, too,” said Mai. “And I don’t like anything.”

Ty Lee blushed. “That means a lot, actually.”

“Really?” said Mai. “But everyone likes you.”

“No, they don’t,” said Ty Lee. “They like my family. Or my sisters, as a set. They like that I’m rich, or pretty. But you don’t care about that stuff.”

“That’s true,” said Mai. “I care about you.”

Ty Lee turned to look at Mai, as the soft glow of the sunset illuminated her pale face. Mai looked back, and her usual look of grim, determined dissatisfaction had melted away. She looked open. Hopeful.

Ty Lee closed the distance between them, and kissed her.

* * *

Ty Lee wouldn’t ask Mai to forget Zuko. Ty Lee didn’t limit herself to any one person. She wasn’t capable of it. So it wouldn’t make sense for Mai to do so.

Even if they sometimes saw other people, Mai and Ty Lee belonged to each other. And of course, they belonged to Azula, too. When they got older, Azula stopped talking about appropriate marriage prospects and started letting her eyes linger on Ty Lee for a few moments too long.Azula was hardly the first Fire Nation royal to have a coterie of lovers of the same sex outside the expected marriage, and she wouldn’t be the last. When Azula, lounging on her bed, finally said, “Ty Lee, come here and kiss me,” Ty Lee did.

And she loved kissing Azula, because Azula was beautiful and brilliant and smelled like jasmine perfume and the faintest hint of ozone. The first few times they kissed, Azula attacked her lips with battlefield ferocity. She demanded feedback afterwards, no matter how much Ty Lee protested that it ruined the mood. But after a while, she started to relax, not worrying about the times her teeth bumped into Ty Lee’s awkwardly, giggling along with Ty Lee when something went wrong instead of getting upset. Azula only let her hair escape from its tight ponytail when Ty Lee was around. When she misspoke and accidentally hurt Ty Lee’s feelings, she didn’t double down the way she did with other people. Instead, she looked at the floor and muttered apologies. Azula loved her. Ty Lee knew, even if Azula couldn’t say it. Even if she didn’t think she was capable of it. And Mai loved her, too. She wasn’t demonstrative in public, especially not around Azula. But she attached herself to Ty Lee like a barnacle shrimp when they were in private. She paid attention to what made Ty Lee happy, and was constantly surprising Ty Lee by remembering things she mentioned in passing. And she was always there, silently in Ty Lee’s corner, ready to come to her defense.

They both loved her, and she loved them. It was all she ever wanted.

* * *

After the girls graduated from the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, Azula started taking on more royal duties. Even though Zuko had been gone for years now, her father hadn’t yet promised her that she would succeed him as Firelord. Instead, he held her at arms length, telling her that if she wanted to be Firelord, she had to earn it. So Azula threw herself into making him proud, body and soul.

And slowly, Azula became too busy for Ty Lee. She was late for dates, or missed them altogether, saying she had a more important engagement and didn’t have time to cancel.

One day, Ty Lee waited at a restaurant for hours. Azula never showed up. The next day, she stormed into Azula’s room, eyes still puffy from crying.

“Why are you doing this?” she said.

Azula sat at her vanity, looking in the mirror. “If you’re going to break up with me, do it now,” she said, without looking at Ty Lee. “I’m very busy this morning.”

Ty Lee stopped abruptly. Though Azula wasn’t looking at her, she could see in the mirror that her eye makeup had run.

“Azula,” she said. “Do you want me to break up with you?”

In the mirror, she saw Azula press her lips into a small, hard line.

“I want you to be happy,” she said.

“You make me happy,” said Ty Lee. “Well, you did.” She stepped closer to Azula and rubbed her shoulders. Azula melted into her arms.

“I’m scared,” she said, quietly. Too quietly. “You love me so much, and I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

“Of course you deserve it,” said Ty Lee. “You’re the smartest, best, most beautiful girl in the whole world.”

“Maybe,” said Azula. “But I’m not good enough for my father.” She took a deep breath. “And I don’t know if I can love you back. I don’t know if I’m capable of it.”

“Oh,” said Ty Lee. “Oh, Azula. Your mother was wrong.”

“She was right about everything else,” Azula said. “I’m ruthless. I’m merciless. I’ll stop at nothing to get what I want.”

“That’s true,” said Ty Lee. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t love me.”

Azula swiped at her eyes angrily. “It’s just so much pressure. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m failing.”

Ty Lee wrapped her arms around Azula’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “I don’t care. I love you. No matter what.”

“Ty Lee,” said Azula. “That only makes it worse”

“Oh,” said Ty Lee.

Azula sniffed. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

Ty Lee hugged Azula tighter. “Me neither. But we’ll figure it out.”

<hr/>

The next day, Ty Lee met Mai for breakfast, and told her what was going on. As usual, Mai knew just what to say.

“You need to get some space. Go somewhere she isn’t, so you can both clear your heads,” said Mai.

“But what about you?” said Ty Lee. “I’ll miss you.”

“I can visit,” she said, but Ty Lee knew it wouldn’t be enough. For either of them.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Ty Lee,” said Mai, “for the past few months, you’ve been completely miserable. I like having you here. But if going away will help, I’d rather you left.” She squeezed Ty Lee’s hands.

“What if she forgets about me?” Ty Lee said in a small voice.

“I wish,” Mai muttered.

Ty Lee felt her eyes well up with tears. Mai sighed and patted her hand.

“She won’t,” said Mai. “She loves you.”

<hr/>

So, Ty Lee joined the circus.

It was a good way to practice her combat skills, and the circus passed through the capitol city often enough that she, Azula, and Mai could see each other. Mai had a hard time—no one else in her life was as “touchy-feely” as Ty Lee, as she put it—but they wrote letters.

And at the circus, no one knew she was a Ty sister, or one of Azula’s entourage, or anything else. And what’s more, they didn’t care. They cared that she showed up for rehearsals on time, that she did all her assigned chores without complaining, that she was good company and always ready to put a positive spin on things. One lemurlion trainer in particular cared that she was a good kisser. For the first time in years, she was able to relax around people who weren’t Mai.

Then, well, Azula called. And she left. What other choice did she have?

* * *

When Ty Lee saw Mai again, the first thing she did was throw herself into Mai’s arms and hold her tightly. Under her hands, beneath the swaths of black fabric that Mai cloaked herself in, Mai’s back muscles slowly relaxed.

That night, in the luxurious tent the three of them shared, Mai crept, quiet as a cat, into Ty Lee’s sleeping bag. She curled in close to her.

“I missed you,” she murmured into Ty Lee’s hair.

“I missed you too,” said Ty Lee.

Then, in the lightest whisper, like candle smoke blown on a breeze, Mai said, “I hoped you’d stay away. She’s getting worse.”

“I couldn’t,” Ty Lee said, glancing over at Azula’s sleeping form. She breathed quietly, looking peaceful in a way she never looked when awake. Ty Lee could count on one hand the number of people who’d seen the princess this way. She’d always known her time at the circus was borrowed, that there was a hook buried deep in her heart that would always drag her back, back, back to where she started. “Even if she wanted me to.”

Mai sighed. “I know,” she said. Ty Lee pulled her close.

“I love you,” said Mai.

Ty Lee sighed, and some part of her felt settled in a way it hadn’t in over a year. “I love you too.”

* * *

Shortly after they left Omashu, Mai and Ty Lee split off from Azula. Azula went west to a Fire Nation outpost to check on weapons development. Mai and Ty Lee tracked Zuko through the Earth Kingdom wilderness.

Ty Lee knew she and Mai would have to face down Earth Kingdom soldiers without Azula, but she didn’t think it was so soon. Real combat wasn’t anything like the practice sessions at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, or with their tutors on the palace grounds. In the real world, it turned out, people were trying to kill you. With Ty Lee’s skills, it wasn’t hard to beat these soldiers, even though they were grown men, even though they were benders, but that didn’t make it any less terrifying. Azula was an unstoppable force, and without her, Ty Lee felt naked.

Sure, she could chi-block two earthbenders easily, but it took a while. And when they were finally down, she turned and saw one of the woman with a sword in one hand and Mai’s throat in the other.

Ty Lee flew through the air like an arrow released from a bow. It was almost automatic—she attacked, chi-blocking her, then smashed her head open on a rock as the woman flailed under her hands. Just like training, only messier.

Stepping over the body, she flew toward Mai, who was gasping for breath. Everyone else was dead or incapacitated, so she was free to wrap her arms around Mai and hold her tight.

“Are you okay?” she said, her face muffled by the thick fabric of Mai’s robes.

“I’m fine,” said Mai, though her voice was strained. “All in a day’s work, right? Are you okay?”

Ty Lee laughed slightly, because of course Mai would try to redirect the conversation to Ty Lee. To keep the focus off herself and how she was hurting. She looked up at Mai and brushed her hair behind her ears, revealing deep bruises on Mai’s neck. And Mai, composed as she was, couldn’t hide the spark of fear in her eyes.

But she wasn’t looking at Ty Lee. She was looking behind her, at the dead woman.

“Wow,” she said. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“You’ve seen me fight before,” Ty Lee said distractedly, her eyes still fixed on the blush of bruises on Mai’s pale skin.

“No, I mean that,” she said. “All that blood.” She looked faintly sick.

Ty Lee reached out a finger and, very lightly, touched one of the bruises with her finger. Gently, carefully, like Mai’s skin was a new snowflake that could dissolve at any moment. The warmth of it almost made her draw back. So it was real. This had really happened. Mai could have died.

She threw herself forward, pressing her lips to Mai’s, desperate to taste her, to soak up every inch of her. If Ty Lee had been a second two slow, Mai would have been snuffed out like a candle, and Ty Lee would never be able to taste her lips or hold her again. She gripped Mai tightly and kissed her and kissed her.

She would think about the dead woman again, in the future. She would have dreams about blood soaking into the earth and her clothes and her skin. She would make new friends, and have no way to tell them what had happened, but no way to keep it secret, either. But she would never regret what she had done.

“I love you,” she said to Mai. Distantly, as if it had been years ago, she remembered saying the same words last night. What a stupid girl, she thought. A stupid girl who had no idea what that meant.

* * *

Things changed after that first attack. Ty Lee had previously assumed this would be a brief vacation, like a fun camping trip with her girlfriends. After all, it couldn’t take that long to find Zuko and Iroh, especially with Azula’s usual precise, focused intensity.

But Azula was different somehow. After Ty Lee left, Ozai still hadn't named Azula as his heir. Now that Zuko was a wanted man, Ozai was dangling the throne in front of Azula like a string in front of a catrabbit, and it was making her crazy. She kept changing the parameters of her quest—first, they were trying to catch Zuko, then, the Avatar, then, break through the walls of Ba Sing Se. Ty Lee tried to be there for her, calm her down, braid her hair, rub her back, tell her how brave and brilliant she was. But Azula’s moods were becoming more and more unpredictable.

For the first time, Ty Lee understood that Azula could hurt her, really hurt her, and get away with it. _She wouldn’t,_ she reassured herself. But it was impossible to forget that she _could._

Mai and Ty Lee still slept snuggled together every night, still snuck away together whenever they could. But anything could set Azula off. At first, it was just failing to accomplish what they were supposed to during a mission. Then, it was spending too much time together without her. It was easy for Ty Lee to cope with it. Even if she wanted to stop herself from collapsing into a puddle of tears when Azula went to far, she couldn’t, and whenever she realized that she’d really hurt Ty Lee, Azula backtracked and apologized. But Mai just let everything roll off her like water, which only made Azula angrier, which only made everything worse. It reminded Ty Lee of that fight, long ago, between Azula and Mai, where she’d had to step in so Mai wouldn’t do something she regretted. _Just let her win,_ she thought. _Just make it easy for us._ But Mai never did.

When they were sent to fight off a team of earthbenders who were on the brink of discovering the Ba Sing Se drill, Azula was already in a foul mood because Ty Lee had accidentally mentioned one of her dates with Mai in passing. When she hugged Ty Lee goodbye, she gripped Ty Lee’s shoulders with her nails so hard she yelped.

“Don’t you dare fail,” she whispered in Ty Lee’s ear. “Or else.”

Ty Lee stepped back, eyes wide. Azula had never hurt her before. They’d bruised each other in combat training, sure, but it was never like this. Never deliberate. Never a punishment.

Azula didn’t meet her eyes.

When Ty Lee and Mai caught up to the team of earthbenders near a rocky hillside, Ty Lee found herself trapped under a mini-avalanche of rubble in an instant. Apparently, they had been prepared. They knew about Mai and Ty Lee’s skillsets, and they’d been ready to neutralize Ty Lee’s chi-blocking. Luckily,she was able to dig herself out, chanting “gross gross gross gross gross” the whole time and trying not to think about how long it would take to get the dirt out from under her fingernails.

When she got up, Mai was surrounded, and her face was twisted up with pain. Ty Lee knew that for her to be showing this much emotion, it had to be really bad. She’d put up a good fight, but she was clearly out of commission.

So Ty Lee leapt up, frantically chi-blocked one of the earthbenders, grabbed Mai by the arm, and ran. As soon as they were out of the earthbenders’ sight lines, she pulled Mai up into a tree. There, they waited with bated breath until the earthbenders were gone.

She dropped to the ground, then helped Mai down. Mai gasped in pain, clutching her arm, tears stinging her eyes. She looked furious and miserable, her eyes avoiding Ty Lee’s, and Ty Lee knew it wasn’t just her arm. It was the fact that Ty Lee was seeing her like this. That anyone was seeing her like this. That she was in so much pain that she was losing control. She was biting her lip, her legs tense and shaking, trying to keep it together.

Ty Lee tore a strip off her shirtsleeves and made it into a sling, trying not to look at all the blood. No matter how many times she practiced it, battlefield medicine never stopped being gross. Quickly and efficiently, she bound Mai’s wounds. Then she gently wiped the sweat off Mai’s face, and kissed her forehead. Mai closed her eyes and sighed slightly.

Once she was satisfied that Mai was okay, Ty Lee sat on the ground with a thump. “We failed.”

“Yeah,” said Mai, apparently unconcerned.

“We failed,” Ty Lee said again. She remembered the feeling of Azula’s nails in her shoulder, sharp and unyielding. “She’s going to be so angry.” She felt her arms begin to tremble uncontrollably. She didn’t want to know what Azula would say, what she would _do._ Tears filled her eyes.

Mai dragged herself towards Ty Lee and, wincing, wrapped her good arm around her. This only made Ty Lee cry harder.

“It’ll be all right,” Mai murmured.

“What if it’s not?” said Ty Lee. “What if this is the thing that finally makes her realize that…that I’m…useless?”

“You’re not useless,” said Mai. “And you’ll still have me.”

Ty Lee shook her head. “She won’t let you stay with me.”

“I don’t care,” said Mai.

Ty Lee’s eyes widened. “Don’t say things like that,” she said. “You have to do what she says. You have to.”

Mai shifted, looking Ty Lee in the eyes. “Listen to me,” she rasped. “I would do anything for you. Anything. Got it?”

Ty Lee nodded once.

“Good,” said Mai. “Don’t make me say that again. That was embarrassing.”

Ty Lee laughed in spite of herself.

“Help me up,” said Mai. “I’m sick of being on the ground.”

“Oh, right!” said Ty Lee. She helped Mai to her feet. Mai staggered upward, leaning on Ty Lee for support.

“Let’s go,” said Mai. “And remember, whatever happens, it’ll be okay.”

* * *

Everything turned out okay. They failed at the walls of Ba Sing Se, then they succeeded. They infiltrated the city, Azula took over the Dai Li, and Ba Sing Se was theirs, just as it was meant to be. Finally, _finally,_ the world’s worst road trip was over.

Ty Lee didn’t go back to the circus. She couldn’t face leaving Mai behind again.

After taking Ba Sing Se and killing the Avatar, Azula was in a perfect position to demand the throne from her father, once and for all. But instead, she stepped aside, practically handing it to Zuko. Ty Lee knew better than to believe it. Something was going on. Azula didn’t trust her enough to share it with her, but something was going on. And whatever it was, she knew Zuko would not be safe for long.

Whenever she watched Zuko and Mai cuddling together, she felt a lump in her throat. Because Mai was happy, and soon, that happiness would be snatched away. And all Ty Lee could do was watch.

One day, Azula took the three of them to a spa on the outskirts of the city. While they lounged on their chairs in mud masks, Azula said, “Well, Mai, it must be nice to have Zuko back.”

“Yeah,” said Mai.

“You must be spending a lot of time together,” said Azula.

“We are,” said Mai.

“And I know I can trust you to tell me if he does anything…suspicious,” said Azula. “Can’t I?”

Ty Lee looked at Azula, and saw naked fear in her eyes. Mai had been spending more and more time with Zuko, and less with Azula and Ty Lee. And Azula was afraid of losing her. Ty Lee frantically tried to catch the masseuse’s eye, desperately hoping he would come over and interrupt the conversation.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” said Mai.

“Oh, you know,” said Azula, examining her nails. “Plotting. Scheming. Betrayal. Borrowing my hairbrush without asking. Anything he wouldn’t want me to know about.”

“He hasn’t,” said Mai.

“Of course,” said Azula. “And if he did, you would tell me.”

“I’m trying to decide whether I want to wear the purple or pink slippers out,” Ty Lee said desperately. “What do you think?

“Or if you thought he might be, but wasn’t telling you,” said Azula. “You’d let me know. Wouldn’t you?”

“It hasn’t come up,” said Mai.

“But if it did?” Azula pressed.

Ty Lee watched them, holding her breath the way she did the first time she tried the high wire.

“I don’t see the point of talking about it,” said Mai. She yawned, as if bored, but Ty Lee could see her hands, white-knuckled, gripping the arm of her chair.

“Don’t you?” said Azula. “Because I need to know that you’re on my side. That I can trust you. Absolutely.”

“And if you don’t?” said Mai.

Ty Lee sucked in a breath.

Azula smiled a small, dangerous smile. “Do you really want to know what happens then?”

Ty Lee remembered the feeling of Azula’s nails on her back. Azula wouldn’t hurt them. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t. She wouldn't. The phrase echoed in Ty Lee's mind like a heartbeat.

Ty Lee forced herself to laugh, suddenly. Azula looked over at her, clearly irritated at being interrupted.

“Is something funny, Ty Lee?” said Azula.

“You are,” said Ty Lee. “Azula, we just followed you across the Earth Kingdom. We fought adult soldiers by ourselves for you. And the whole point of the trip was to find Zuko and arrest him. Of course we’re on your side.” She rested her hand on Azula’s. “We love you.”

Ty Lee met Azula’s hard amber eyes, and for a moment, her blood froze. She had no idea if what she’d said would be enough.

Then, Azula smiled. “You’re right,” she said. “I trust you. Absolutely.”

Later, after they left, when Ty Lee and Mai were traveling in Mai’s palanquin together, Mai slipped her hand into Ty Lee’s.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

Ty Lee pulled her hand away. “Don’t thank me. Just stop doing this.”

Mai shrugged, which only made Ty Lee angrier.

“Why can’t you just say what she wants to hear?” said Ty Lee. “Why do I always have to save you?”

“Oh, because when you do what she says, it always turns out great,” said Mai. “That’s why you’re so happy all the time. Oh wait. You’re a mess.”

Ty Lee felt her lower lip tremble. She crossed her arms and looked away. Mai didn’t say anything after that, which suited Ty Lee fine.

* * *

Zuko did betray them. But Azula didn’t have to worry about Mai defending him. She was furious. She spent hours venting to Azula about it and crying on Ty Lee’s shoulder. She picked fights to blow off steam, although when Ty Lee sat her down and explained how stressful it was when she did that, she grudgingly stopped. She reread Zuko’s letter over and over, no matter how many times Ty Lee tried to get her to stop.

Honestly, Ty Lee was starting to hate Zuko, too. Mai deserved better.

Ty Lee wasn’t expecting him to show up at Mai’s uncle’s prison, but there he was, and Ty Lee was ready to make him pay.

Only—Mai wasn’t. Ty Lee saw her face when Zuko’s name was mentioned. Her lips parted imperceptibly, her eyes just barely widened. She missed him. As angry as she was, she wanted him back.

And she didn’t want to hurt him. No matter what Azula said.

And when Zuko was about to die, Mai stepped forward and said “no.” And Ty Lee watched in horror, because she had never imagined she would have to make the choice that was in front of her now. That she would see Mai with her knives out and Azula crackling with conjured lightning and both with hate in their eyes, and have to decide where to stand.

Part of her had suspected it, but she’d refused to really think about it, to plan. To think about it would be to admit it could happen, and that wasn’t something she could do. And now she felt so stupid, because maybe if she’d considered this, if she’d thought about it, she could have stopped it. And she would not be here, now, facing a terrible choice.

She would not hurt Mai. And as much as she wanted to stand aside and see what happened, she couldn’t.

She looked at Azula, shining in the sun, every inch the perfect princess, and in that instant, she knew she would never be happy with her. Because no matter how often she reassured herself it would never happened, it didn’t change the fact that Azula could hurt her. And every day, she grew farther away from the girl Ty Lee had fallen in love with when she was fourteen, and closer to a woman who would show no mercy even to the people she loved. With Azula, Ty Lee might be safe, but she would never, ever be happy.

And then she looked at Mai, and remembered the feeling of Mai pressed against her at night, Mai’s quiet acceptance.

Mai loved almost nobody, and Mai loved her.

It wasn’t really a choice, was it.

And before she knew what she was doing, Azula was on the ground, and she was telling Mai to run. Counting on the hope that the guards would be afraid to hurt the warden’s niece. Maybe that would’ve worked before the guards saw Azula in action, but not after.

So Azula had them locked away.

* * *

Ty Lee curled up on the bed in her and Mai’s shared cell. Her whole body itched from the fabric of the prison uniform, and she twisted and turned, trying to get comfortable on the bed.

She was sad, obviously. But more than that, she was relieved. Relieved that the worst had finally happened. And now she knew exactly how bad it could get. She didn’t need to be afraid anymore.

She would miss Azula. But she wouldn’t miss that fear.

“Hey,” she heard Mai say. She turned and looked up at her.

“Come on,” she said, gesturing to the bed. Mai didn’t need to be told twice. She climbed onto the bed and gently wrapped Ty Lee’s body in her arms. Her breath warmed Ty Lee's cheek, and Ty Lee sighed involuntarily.

“It’s not like I was doing anything exciting at home, anyway,” said Mai, trying to lighten the mood. Then, more seriously, “At least I’m with you.”

Ty Lee sniffled. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?” said Mai. She kissed the hollow under Ty Lee’s chin. It tickled.

“For not saving you,” said Ty Lee. “I should’ve thought it through more. I should’ve figured out a way to calm her down. Or at least for you to get away.”

“I don’t care,” said Mai.

“Don’t say that to me,” said Ty Lee. “I know it’s not true.”

“I mean it,” said Mai. “As long as I’m with you, I don’t care.”

“Oh,” said Ty Lee. 

“You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?” said Mai. “The two of us? Without her?”

And here, in the dark of the prison cell, Ty Lee could finally admit it. “Yes. Of course, yes.”

“Well,” said Mai. “She’s not here.” She kissed Ty Lee’s head again. “And I am.”

And Ty Lee, despite herself, despite everything, found herself smiling. “I guess there is a bright side,” she said, and let herself relax in Mai’s arms.


End file.
